Soccer...

I found this on the blog of Wendi Aarons...It's one of the funniest blogs I've ever seen, and I'm sure I'll be checking in frequently for a laugh! When I came across this one, it just made me laugh out loud! Kind of reminds me of my son's team this year & last.

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The Soccer Game


Their Team:

ALRIGHT, MASON, LET'S GO! KICK THE BALL, MASON! RUN, MASON! THERE YOU GO, MASON! FASTER, MASON! I SAID, FASTER MASON! GET IT IN THE GOAL, MASON! THE GOAL THE GOAL THE GOAL, MASON! AHHHH----COME AWN, MASON! MASON! MASON! LOOK LIVELY! USE YOUR FEET, MASON! GET THAT BALL, MASON! THERE IT IS, MASON! RIGHT THERE, MASON! THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN' 'BOUT, MASON! GET THE BALL GET THE BALL GET THE BALL!

Our Team:

Did you hear there's a wine sale at Whole Foods?

Their Team:

WHAT ARE YOU DOING, MASON? THE BALL GOES THE OTHER WAY, MASON! TURN IT AROUND, MASON! NOW KICK IT, MASON! DRIVE IT IN! POUND IT HARD! SPANK THAT BALL! SHOW THE OTHER 5 YEAR-OLDS THAT YOU'RE THEIR DADDY, MASON!

Our Team:

Who, Ellie's mom? No, I'm sure hers aren't real.

Their Team:

PASS HIM PASS HIM PASS HIM, MASON! USE YOUR FEET, MASON! DON'T LET HIM STEAL IT, MASON! WATCH IT, MASON! HE'S GOIN' FOR IT, MASON! STOP HIM, MASON! BLOCK HIM, MASON! OH, FOR CHRIST'S SAKE, SHUT HIM DOWN, MASON!

Our Team:

So then I said to her...what? We scored? Yay, Jaguars!

Their Team:

MAKE THIS LAST GOAL OR I'LL GIVE ALL YOUR SAVINGS BONDS TO CHARITY, MASON! I'LL RENT OUT YOUR BEDROOM TO AN OIL-FIELD WORKER, MASON! COME ON, MASON! I DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO PUT YOU UP FOR ADOPTION ON CRAIG'S LIST, MASON! I'M SERIOUS, MASON! YOUR MAMA DIDN'T SCREAM HER WAY THROUGH LABOR FOR 15 DAMN HOURS JUST SO YOU COULD GET YOUR ASS HANDED TO YOU IN A PEE-WEE SOCCER GAME, MASON! AWW, MASON! COME ON, MASON!

Our Team:

Good game, guys--here are your cookies! And why don't you save one for that kid on the other team named Mason? I'm pretty sure he could use one.